I used to wake up with words in my mind
Now everything I write feels hollow
I used to lose myself in the dance
These days I struggle just to follow
You took more from me than you'll ever know
It's like you ripped away a piece of my soul
I don't know who I am anymore
Nothing feels real and I don't know why
I don't want to live anymore
Oh but I don't want to die

2/5/2020

I don't want to write about the soulcrushing emptiness

Or how much I long to feel wanted

I don't want to wonder if who might miss me

Or if anyone would cry at the service

I want a place where I belong

And emotions that don't feel like a scream

I want something to believe in

But I don't even know who I am

I guess this miserable uncertainty

Is just my destiny

Who am I meant to be?

Untitled, Sept 2019 poem

Memories in my head
So many things left unsaid
Never knew how but it's too late now
You can't save what's already dead

With dagger in hand
I roam through fantasy land
Seeking a familiar face in this faraway place
I see you in every strange man

The dagger calls out for blood
Though my heart still yearns for your love
But I know you're the one who betrayed me
And for the first time I see clearly

This world can change in the blink of an eye
I’m taking back my heart
No more falling apart
You'll never see me cry

Time to leave the past behind
Things can't be what they seem
In this strange fever dream
It is myself I must find

Assorted untitled post breakup bad poems, June/July 2010

No promises were broken, none were ever made
Yet I feel like I've been lied to
I want to beg you to stay but I know it's time to let go
Time to face reality again
You're not going to come take me away
Like some fairytale prince charming
That frog is still just a frog
Happily ever after is a myth




They say that when you dream of someone
That person was thinking about you as they fell asleep
If that's true I wish you'd stop thinking about me
Because it hurts to dream of you
When all that's left of us is a memory

The gifts you bought are in a box under my bed
I couldn't bring myself to throw them out
Even though I don't want them now
They hold no value to me anymore
When all that's left of us is a memory

Your things are sitting on my dresser
I never got the chance to give them back
I wish I knew what to do with them
I don't want to be reminded of you
When all that's left of us is a memory




I once thought it was impossible, the way you made me feel
I once thought it was impossible that you might want to be with me too
I once thought it was impossible that we would end up hating each other
I once thought it was impossible that I could ever miss you
I no longer think anything is impossible

Words, May 09 poem

One sentence, three words
Words that change everything
I want to share my feelings, want to say those words
but how will things change if I do?
If you say them back our friendship could grow to something even more beautiful
but I can see the truth in your eyes
You will never say those words to me
and it would destroy what we already have if I dare ask for more
So I'll keep my words to myself
I won't tell you
I love you

Into My Dreams, March 09 attempt at song lyrics

So lost was I in the memory of your kiss
That the truth I simply missed
Perhaps I just didn't want to see
You would never love someone like me

This image of you can't be real
And yet into my dreams you steal
I want to love you but you don't care
I needed you but you were never there

In a crowded place your face I see
When I look into your eyes to my surprise
I recognize myself in your gaze and wonder why I didn't see
You are everything that's good in me with so much more intensity

This image of you can't be real
And yet into my dreams you steal
I want to love you but you don't care
I needed you but you were never there

Something else your eyes also hold
The truth of it just stops me cold
I see the depths of your despair
More pain than anyone could bear

This image of you can't be real
And yet into my dreams you steal
I want to love you but you don't care
I needed you but you were never there

Yet into my dreams you steal
I want to love you if you'll let me care
If you need me I'll be there

Dreams, Feb 09 poem

Goodbye my love
I don't think you ever understood my feelings
You'll never know how deeply you've hurt me
Just as I know I'll never understand how deeply you've been hurt
Telling you I love you would destroy our friendship
I know you'll never love me as you loved those other girls
So please let tonight be the last time
You are with me in my dreams